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iStock Comedy 2: Royalty-free ...

iStock Comedy 2: Royalty-free Revenge Featured Work

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iStock Comedy 2: Royalty-free Revenge

January 31st, 2010 by Liesl received 1 Comment »
Since both my loyal and fickle readers are now demanding a new post, and since my Vote for iStock Comedy post received the most hits of any page on my blog, I thought I’d give the people what they want and serialize iStock Comedy. At the end of every month, I will bring you three ridiculous stock photos for your viewing and voting pleasure. (You’re welcome.)
To recap:

Every now and then, you’ll perform a routine search for royalty-free images on iStockphoto.com and a little gem of WTF comedy gold springs up on your screen. I am certainly not the first to identify silly stock photos, but these will be my methods:

  1. You get to vote for your favourite! (Poll closes on February 13 at 11:59 PM, because I [heart] iStock Comedy this Valentine’s Day). Post your reasons/debate the virtues of your pick in the comments (or suggest your own contender, if you dare).
  2. Images that try too hard or are flagged as “silly” (e.g. people making stupid faces) are not considered.
  3. I purchase the images (where I can, though this installment had two pricey numbers) because stuff this awesome deserves to be freed of watermarks.

So without further ado, here are three of the strangest iStock photos I’ve seen since last time. Bear in mind that contributors want these images to be profitable and sell, why else would they be on iStock? So the greater the absurdity, and the less marketable the image, the funnier it is.

Recovered Profits

Recovered Profits

Name: Recovered Profits

iStock Photo Description: Piecharts are indicators of the profits or losses in businesses. The angry piechart represents the losses that suffocate us. The pawn [with a piechart piece under his arm] and the queen have recovered a part of the investment thanks to their ability and efficiency.

Downloads: 8

Select Keywords: Chess, Pie Chart, Businessman, Business, Blue

Why Vote For It:

  • Has the production values of an episode of Square One TV
  • Makes little sense without the description
  • Chess + Business + Pac-Man Nod + Statistics = Mixed Metaphor Win!
  • Infinite chessboard for super long chase sequence
  • Pawn looks awfully chuffed with himself
  • 2 Credits makes this an affordable iStock find

What’s Holding it Back:

  • Stakeholders unimpressed with stolen piechart piece’s impact on bottom line
  • Angry Piechart moves into bargaining stage of grief, proves better negotiator than chess pieces
Cross-dressing Dad

Cross-dressing Dad

Name: Cross-dressing Dad

iStock Photo Description: Family gets shock when they return from the shopping trip.

Downloads: 4

Select Keywords: Change, Guilt, Cross Dressing, Humor, Embarrassment, Sexual Activity, Surprise, Lifestyles, Family…

Why Vote For It:

  • Cartoonish pyramid of protected eyes
  • Dad rocking his look just a tad more than mum
  • Explains every awkward family dinner iStock photo
  • Clothes piled in the left corner suggests Dad’s normal attire reassuringly butch

What’s Holding it Back:

  • Conservative America
  • Shame
  • 20 Credits: That’s enough to make a cross-dressing dad want to burn his borrowed bra!

Naked Astronaut

Naked Astronaut

Name: Naked Astronaut

iStock Photo Description: Photo of an astronaut standing naked in a barren wasteland, covering himself with an American flag.

Downloads: 9

Select Keywords: Astronaut, Bonneville Salt Flats, Desert, Landscape, American Flag, Humor, Environment, Space Helmet …

Why Vote For It:

  • Two words: Naked Astronaut
  • All the pride of “I’ve conquered this for America!” meets all the shame of the standard-issue naked-for-school-assembly nightmare
  • Spaceman fighting losing battle against The Elements
  • Shiny, bulbous helmet
  • Intriguing combo of space/birthday suit
  • Oddity potentially spacey enough to lure Bowie back to the bi side

What’s Holding it Back:

  • 20 Credits: That’s 10 Angry Piecharts/Recovered Profits!
  • HAL
  • Modesty: let that freak flag fly, Mr. Astronaut!
  • Worse NASA hazing rituals to come

And that’s it! Vote now, and remember to check back on Valentine’s day to find out which iStock gem stole our hearts!

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Posted under: Design, Featured Articles, iStock Comedy, Weirdsies

One Response to “iStock Comedy 2: Royalty-free Revenge”

  1. Dimitry Z. says:

    C’mon pie chart!