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No Time to Brush? Chew Gum.

December 8th, 2009 by Liesl received 3 Comments »

Coming out of the metro this morning I noticed a disturbing ad for gum aimed at people too rushed in the morning to brush their teeth. It’s one thing to acknowledge every one of us may have been in that situation, but another to actually market to those who slack off enough on oral hygiene to identify this as a “need.” Add to that to the fact that I’m assuming covering up non-brushing has been one of the many off-label uses for good ol’ fashioned regular gum since it came in to existence (see also: makeshift adhesive.)

I really wish I could have been in an early meeting to hear what market researchers had to say about positioning this “product,” I can only imagine they were struck by the same bolt of lightning that got some upstart to think of putting sleeves on a blanket.

Yes, I am going on record as saying J.D. Salinger alone will make up 4% of their sales. Prove me wrong, "Lovers of plaque"

Yes, I am going on record as saying J.D. Salinger alone will make up 4% of their sales. Prove me wrong, "Lovers of plaque"

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Posted under: Advertising

3 Responses to “No Time to Brush? Chew Gum.”

  1. Kerith says:

    I love imagining how people think up weird products, but what I find interesting (and disturbing) is the number of people who actually use these products. Yogurt in a tube? Doesn’t that make it messier for kids having snacks on the go? I’m picturing a yogurt fight right now. Designer plastic shoes with holes for $50? For a 2-year-old? Marketers do a really good job with some really crazy products.

    I do know another potential market who would use gum as a teeth-brushing alternative, though. New mothers. It’s hard to brush your teeth while holding a baby. It’s much easier to chew gum than to learn to spit over your baby’s head.

  2. Laura says:

    OMG, I love that chart! I’m still laughing at the Singaporeans (no offense to any Singaporeans reading this; I love your lack of gum concept), and J.D. Salinger is just a stroke of brillance. I can just picture him, rocking in his Snuggie(TM), muttering to himself about that damned bastard who wrote a book using his characters, wheezing his juice, as he chews and rocks and chews and rocks. Oh, J.D., just pop out for a nice popover; it’ll do you good!

  3. admin says:

    Kerith: See, what makes this so amusing is that there is no difference in the product. It’s just gum. However, a study is released showing that gum sweetened with xylitol (already on the market) keeps bacteria lower and hey, presto: a marketing opportunity is born! Note the comment in the study about mothers transmitting bacteria… I think you’re on to something, there!

    Laura: Thanks! I credit 5 years in Singapore during my formative teen years with ridding me of a desire to ever chew gum. Poor J.D., you’re right he has had a tough year! But at least oral hygiene won’t be high on his list of concerns. BTW: J.D. Salinger in a snuggie = random idea for a hybrid Halloween costume.